You are a wise one
The Wise Ones often have difficult lives. They believe in a great balance to the universe, which combines joy with pain and good with bad. Wise Ones often have a strong connection to “systems” that allow us to interpret energy and the universe, such as astrology.
Your life until this point was rich in experiences and that has made you wiser than others. Many aspects of your previous lives however are still evident within your consciousness. This might make you look at the world with a less optimism, and that has blocked many of your mystical gifts. You are however, just as important and cared for. The moment you allow yourself to open up to divine assistance, you begin to speed up your spiritual development.
You are sometimes too caught up in your thoughts and worry needlessly as many fears take over.
Perhaps you feel that your life is lacking many of the things you want. That is because you still carry past burdens.
You need to do some self-evaluation to be able to finally forgive and let go of the past. When you do this, you will begin to open up to Miracles and begin your spiritual expansion.